I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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