The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
