Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
