Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Farmville is her only friend.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
