Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize