Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
