when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize