Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize