so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
