drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize