Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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