If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
