Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
