he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
