so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
