i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
