You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
handjob tips. give me some.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
