She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
