I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
