Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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