whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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