You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
