I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
