i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
try to milk me bitch
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