Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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