You smell like stripper and shame
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
