The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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