Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
