If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
