do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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