I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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