Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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