I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
