I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
