It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
wow bdsm is so cute
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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