Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
