Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
