I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My hand turned me down
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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