no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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