I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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