I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
