Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
