someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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