So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
