I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize