in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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