Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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