3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
