I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
