I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
