Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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