He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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