If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
