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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
