If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize