haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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