I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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