saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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