I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
