I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
