Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
